


i was so good back then

by orphan_account



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, Misgendering, Pre-Hiatus (Fall Out Boy), Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Pete, misnaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 09:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6849448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>allie (once known as pete) and patrick had a heated discussion about the status of the band. in it, patrick makes a few mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i was so good back then

**Author's Note:**

> hey! okay so i've had this idea of pete being a trans girl and going by allie for a while now and this is what came with it. 
> 
> please like and/or comment if you liked it!

patrick and allie hadn't had such a heated argument in months. hell, maybe years. patrick kicked a chair angrily, fuming. allie had said multiple times she was tired of being in the band, and that she wanted a break. folie à deux hadn't been a success at all, and trying again soon wouldn't help the situation.

patrick couldn't negate that he did agree with her, but his stubbornness made it impossible for him to admit that. the band was falling to pieces -- andy and joe felt ignored, patrick's physical health was unstable and allie's mental health was fragile. a break was most definitely necessary, but it wasn't in his plans to admit that.

"if we keep going this way i'll end up attempting again, patrick, and you know it!" allie yelled, her eyes blazing with rage. she wasn't trying to guilt trip him: she was stating facts. her mental health was as fragile as it was in 2005, and that was a really bad signal.

"stop fucking threatening that, pete!" patrick spat before he thought about it twice, and his eyes widened when he realized what he had done.

allie looked at him, flabbergasted. "did you just...?" she trailed off as she clenched her fists, anger passing to be a cold feeling of emptiness. she couldn't believe what she had heard. it had been more than four months since her birthname came out of her bandmates's mouths, and it stung and it hurt.

patrick swallowed nervously. it had been over a year since allie had told him, andy and joe the truth. the truth that she was trans, and that her name wasn't pete but allie. and he still fucked up. "allie, i'm sorry, hell, i --" his voice died down, quieter with each word.

"leave me alone," allie stated coolly. she felt betrayed -- her best friend had misnamed her, something she never expected to happen. "i'll talk to andy and joe about a break. i bet they'll be less stubborn than you." she turned around, ready to leave the room. "and won't misname me," she added, not looking at her best friend.

* * *

the first year of the hiatus, patrick and allie didn't contact eachother. allie wasn't busy doing much, besides a project with a friend of hers which distanced itself as much as it could of fall out boy's sound.

patrick, meanwhile, had a solo album in the making. one of the first songs he wrote was titled allie; it was for her, of course.

he tapped his fingers against the table absently. sing to me, in a whisper, a cappella, cross-legged on andrew's bed. and i, drunk beyond my fifteen years, wished to be anywhere else instead. it was about their fight, somewhat.

he knew allie would listen to it as soon as he released the album, even though they didn't seem to have plans on talking any time soon.

patrick found himself changing his appearance and losing weight, especially after the doctors let him know he had a chance of developing diabetes if he didn't. he bleached his hair and left the hats behind.

maybe it was because he didn't know who he was without allie. but it didn't matter; he was doing well without her. it wasn't like he missed her tight hugs and the way she'd cheer him up. it wasn't like he missed her smile and her gaze.

right?

_right?_

* * *

the first time they talked to eachother during the hiatus was in early 2011. allie had appeared at patrick's doorstep, her hair short and her face lacking of makeup.

patrick had opened the door and let her in, curious to see what was what she wanted. he didn't think she had forgiven him; he was sure she wanted something else than a friendly chat.

"you've changed," she spoke quietly, both of them sitting on the couch.

"you've changed too," patrick replied, giving another look at her. she seemed to be carrying on the lie of being a dude pretty well; her hair was cut short and she wore her typical clothes. she didn't seem uncomfortable in her body, even though patrick knew better than that.

allie sighed. "truant wave is pretty good. cute girls is a great song. porcelain, too."

patrick nodded, not really thinking so. "yeah, thank you. soul punk should be out by october," he said.

"you're playing all the instruments on your own, aren't you?"

"yeah."

"great."

silence came for a few tortuous minutes, until patrick decided to break it. "i've missed you," he muttered, and allie looked at him.

their gazes locked, and allie thought patrick's eyes were so blue she could drown in them. patrick thought allie's eyes were so brown they could be liquid chocolate.

"i've missed you too," allie murmured as she got closer to the man, not really noticing she was doing that until patrick hugged her. she hugged him back, smiling slightly.

she had missed her best friend. a lot.

"do you forgive me?" patrick asked, a pang of anxiety eating at him. what if she didn't? what if it would taint their friendship forever?

allie's smile only widened. "of course i do, 'trick. of course i do."


End file.
